Little dogs

Dear Little Dogs,

You have four legs. I have two.

I understand that you're so little and that you get tired easily. But quite frankly, I have enough trouble walking on a regular day. I don't need to carry your puny furry ass everywhere.

Are you worried about getting hurt in the city? Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to stop growing.

This person had the right idea http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/

Anyway, to be fair, I'm not going to punch a little dog. I'll just roll over it on accident, or something. (sounds more humane)

Did you get my message? No, because my phone sucks

Screw you, stupid phone. Screw you. I got you because you were free with my contract. Okay, that's a lie, I got my phone because it was red, and I have an unhealthy obsession with red accessories.

This is how my conversations go

"Hey, this is the world famous blogger. What's up?"

"Hey, hot stuff. I can't hear a word you're saying because there's this loud buzzing noise."

"Don't worry about it. What time are you coming over? I'm so anxious."

"Can't hear you. Did you get my text?"

"I can that you've been thinking the same thing...(same thing!)"

"Uh, this isn't a Ginuwine song...go back to the 90s"

At any rate, I'm definitely looking to get a brand new phone. Suggestions would be highly recommended.

Asian Girls

We're so cute and innocent. Of COURSE you want to punch us in the face.

For the record, I don't want to punch an Asian girl. They have to be at least 18 in the US.

Fail Whale

Surprise, twitter has gone down AGAIN. So to compensate, they provide us with a picture of a cute happy fail whale.

That's like the equivalent of getting crapped on by a bird, and then someone provides you with an Asian girl to compensate. Yes, it's fun and cute to look at, but the reality is that you just want to punch it in the face.

On a separate note, I'm on twitter. I have much more exciting tidbits about my life posted on there, for example, what I'm watching in the morning, things I want to punch during the day, and what I'm eating for lunch. Jump on the social media bandwagon, everyone!

Blemish be gone!

Zits. Pimples. Blemishes. Those things indicating that your body has entered adulthood.

I have a zit on my cheek. I want to pop it, but then I realized, it would make a great post on thingsiwanttopunch.blogspot.com.

On a separate note, my hair is now brownish.

buzz buzz buzz...(ten minute wait)...buzz buzz buzz

I try so hard to not direct my posts to anyone in particular, but I couldn't help myself.

Dear person who happens to own a blackberry curve and is clearly not a morning person -

Stop setting your alarm for an hour before you actually need to get up. I understand the need for hitting the snooze button, I'm guilty of it too.

Also, why do you even bother setting your alarm for Saturday morning? It just doesn't make sense.

Next time your alarm wakes me up unneccesarily, I'm going to hit you.

Warmly,

Me

Squishy squid eye!

Giant squids - quite possibly the most bad ass of sea animals? No, that goes to the mighty octopus.

Alright, I really don't have a desire to punch a giant squid. If I were ever to engage in a hand-to-tentacle battle with a squid, it would result it epic-hipster-fail.

But! If I ever had a chance to have one free hit, I think I'd go for the eye. Just look at the size of that thing! It's the size of a dinner plate!

Nerf-Herders

First of all, my epic fail of the picture is why I typically draw only stick figures. But I figured I needed to draw his vest. Also, the brown thing on the side is not poo, but Chewy.

Yes, Han Solo is a scoundrel. He's also a bad ass. Even though he got special recognition at the end of the movie, I'm positive Princess SciFi Hair probably gave him a good punch in the face.

Yeah, they probably also did it. Like this picture from Gizmodo. Haha, doing it.

Blackbaud

Yesterday, while waiting for the website editing page to appear, I randomly doodled on my notepad. I'm not a real scientist, but if I were to do an analysis of my drawing, it would have indicated that I have murderous thoughts towards a website company.

Update: Even their own forum knows they suck.

And I would like to thank you for not wanting to punch me in the face while I speak...

I hate unneccessarily long speeches. Why do people have the compulsion to speak longer than necessary?

This is ironic since my background is MUN, and MUNers are prone to being long-winded (and snappy dressers).

At a Model UN event today, I got to hear university students from around the world talk about how awesome the UN, what a great experience the conference will be, and how in their country, this is a great opportunity.

Most people will probably find that awe inspiring, but I'm a jaded American, so I just wondered why these speeches were so long. I kept wanting to find a gavel and tell them their 2 minutes were up and they needed to yield to the chair.

Long speeches: the reason why the UN is ineffective.

No, I am not your baby

First, I'm getting kinda lazy on the posting. I even do these ahead of time! (Well, the ones that are posted at 12:00 PM anyway.)

Many people will agree that terms of endearment are pretty annoying. "Dear", "Honey", "Pumpkin" cause most people to gag.

The WORST names have to be "baby" and "babe".

It's always said by the grossest people. Think about the last person who said "Hey, baby, what's going on?" Yeah, exactly, it's that ugly dude on the seven train. Or that girl who has no business talking to people.

I did have a friend say that babe was the equivalent of calling a guy "dude". I just don't believe it.