Continental Airlines - Seating from back to front

I swear to all things segway, if I need to check my luggage, I will fucking hit someone. If I pay for a seat upgrade, I better have space for my bag.

[insert MSpaint image of me hitting the continental desk people. Nothing fancy, I'm tired]

Thunderstorms at O'Hare

I would have a happy little photo attached, but I'm currently stuck on a plane.

This is partially my fault. I KNOW that flying through Chicago during the summer means a 1000% chance of weather delays due to thunderstorm, but the cheap flight makes it kinda worth it.

*sigh* Why must United be based out of the Windy City? Maybe I should travel by train.

*insert MSPaint picture of a gray storm cloud with an angry scowl and fangs. Lightning is shooting out of the cloud and striking a little dog owner. Another lightning bolt is shaped like the middle finger. The caption reads "You are now free to fly around the country and SUCK IT!!!!1111 biatches"*

While She Was Out - movies not worth watching, even if it's only $5 at Rite Aid

This is the most irritating movie I have seen in a long time. Irritating. It's like a Lifetime movie, except instead of lovable Sally Fields, you get irritating Kim Basinger with a toolbox.

Main points from the movie:

1) Life is hard being a white woman. So very hard.

2) Bad dudes travel in racially diverse groups led by the white guy. It's also his fault if anything goes down.

2a. Naturally, if anything is happening, the racially diverse group must start speaking in their homeland's language when something dramatic happens.

3) If you're being chased by a group of bad dudes, carry around a tool box. You can do some nasty things with a screwdriver, socket wrench, and a flare. Nasty like "HELL YES, 1UP" not "dress up as a cheetah".

Ryan

It's his birthday. So naturally, I want to punch him.

Here's hoping that I don't punch Ryan in the face.

not having money

I have nothing against Geico. I just really wanted to draw this happy little money dude.

Really, this is just a rant against New York. I wish New York wasn't so ridiculously expensive.

I type in "you" and it gives me "poo"

For the record, I haven't been updating for two reasons:

1) Pure laziness.

2) I'm moving onto a new job. That's right, that means I can make more posts about my former job. And this whole time, I was saving my bitterness for twitter...awww

Anyway, I jacked this phone from the lost and found. It's nice and shiny. It also has better reception that my old phone. I've even forgiven the fact that it's not red. *gasp*

What I do hate is that it's T9 predictive text is out of control.

During an important communications event, I was using my phone to contribute to the important online discussion (read: I got to tweet in the mornings and people listed to me. Weird). Too bad everytime I wanted to type something relatively intelligent, my phone thought I wanted to say something horribly offensive.

For example, I wanted to write - "Wow, he made an excellent point about funding"

instead, my phone thought I wanted to say - "I hate you and everything you stand for."

I mean, yeah, I was thinking that, but I don't need my phone to actually say what I was thinking.

uhh...not it [News]

Sam the Koala loses long fight for life

From: The Daily Telegraph
August 06, 2009 3:00PM

BATTERED and thirsty but unbowed, Sam the Koala became a symbol of hope among the ashes of last summer's devastating bushfires. Now her struggle is over.

Article here


That actually makes me a little sad =( Poor koala. Everyone needs to go punch a cyst in vengeance for Sam.

NJ Transit - The Way to Go...to hell

Trains are still a relatively foreign concept for me. Growing up on the west coast meant that everyone had a car and that poor people took the bus - unless you live in Seattle, then it means that you're also trying to be green. Ban Ki-Moon thanks you.

I recently took a trip to the great land of Central Jersey. Rather than taking the bus, I decided to go cheap and take the nice fast train.

Too bad the train goes like 25 miles per hour and is filled with my favorite kind of East Coast people. They also have that funny train junction that I can't pronounce correctly. It's probably because I'm asian.

This space is not your space

First of all, apologies for the lack of timely updates. I was complaining to actual people instead of this passive-aggressive crap. That, and I had another experience with tequila.

I work in a cubicle. I am also the only person in the office who is still in a cubicle, excluding the interns and receptionist. On my floor alone, there are FIVE empty offices.

Cubicle space does not equate to free space. Use your own stapler or computer. You all have that. If you don't, go through one of the EMPTY FIVE OFFICES.

Really, you're not that important

You know what? Your e-mail isn't actually that important.

You're a conference secretary-general of a Model UN conference. Get over yourself.

Lateness

Waiting for that post right at 12:00 PM?

Sorry, it's a minute late.

Why?

Because quite frankly, I can't be bothered by your demands, you bitches.

Weekend, weekend, weekend!

No safety dance for you

One time I went out, there were some hot bitches who were getting down with their bad, white selves. It was pretty awesome because they were wearing the hottest dresses from Strawberry and Conway. Guys looking at them were thinking "DAAAAAAAAMMMMMMNNN, I gotta get in dat bitch."

These same guys were also finishing off their 10th beer, so anyone would really have a chance.

The night definitely got better when the hottest of the hunnies when out on the dance floor and proceeded to hop around and do a pseudo-funky chicken with a bit of "wave your hands in the air".

Naturally, being the kind-hearted and non-judgmental person that I am, I proceeded to mock the chick. And make slightly witty remarks to the people I was with. (Only slightly because they were on their 8th beer.)

Later on the evening, it turns out that the hottest hunny was impressed with my dancing skills.

*sigh*

Why, yes, it's okay for you to meow at 4AM

My apartment doesn't have mice. I think it's due to the large stray cat population. That's something positive.

The extreme downside is that there will be cats screaming in the night.

One of these days, I'll punch one. Or I'll find some string and make them chase it onto the subway track. Yeah, that sounds like the best idea.

Note to my one reader: I know you look at my blog solely for my pictures. I'm sorry this cat kinda sucks.

Additional note to my one reader: Okay, you look at my blog for the pictures and you're always curious if I'm going to write about you. I probably won't...yet...just you watch yourself

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

hmm...my drawing kinda looks like a bird.

Anyways, I think I could take on Khan.

He does have bigger boobs than me...his breast would absorb the shock.

There's only so much of not working I can take!

Last Thursday, our servers was affected by some crazy virus. I was one of the very few people who managed to get internet access for five minutes. (So naturally, I wasted those five minutes by jumping on facebook and twitter. I have priorities.)

Friday, we ended up having computer access, but it was sluggish.

Monday, the servers were ridiculously slow, my inbox was receiving spam ever three minutes, and twitter was still blocked.

Tuesday, I'm probably going to punch the server right in the nuts.

Hey, did you get some sun this weekend?

"Hey, did you get some sun this weekend? Your face looks burnt."

"Yes. Yes, I did get some sun this weekend."

"Oh man, it looks bad! Why didn't you put on any sunscreen?"

"I did. I still got burnt."

"You're going to get skin cancer if you keep doing that."

"You're going to get punched in the face, you self-righteous bitch."

Happy Monday, everyone!

On a related note, Long Beach, NY is pretty nice. While I'm still not necessarily a fan of the $10 fee to get onto the sand, I definitely loved doing absolutely nothing in the sun.

B is for fail!

Dear Blogger,

Way to fuck up. Seriously.

Sincerely,

Someone who is going to punch you. Punch you in the face.

I usually write my posts on the weekend and then schedule them to appear at noon on the various days. I put a lot of trust into blogger and google because, well, that's what my money says I should trust.

Google = God-like qualities

Anyway, I happen to check my google analytics and realize two major disappointments:

1) I fail at inputing the google analytics code. That, or people don't look at this website. If so, fuck you.

2) Blogger failed to post the entry I wanted to show on Monday.

MASSIVE BLOGGER FAIL!

Seriously! WTF?

To quote a classic afterwork/happy hour scene:

"Google, you are the only thing in my life that is working and you broke it! You broke it!"

As a reminder, I never write about people specifically ;)

Meet me on the other side

Dear David Gray,

This song is so depressing. I feel like I need to punch you in the face so I don't depress myself while listening to this song.

Your song is absolutely fantastic, btw.

==============

Why do I keep listening to this song on the most depressing mix I own?

*sigh*

Honey now if Im honest
I still dont know what love is

non-profits

Inefficient. Under resourced. Under staffed. Full of overly passionate people convinced they're making a difference.

Oh, sorry, I'm listing the reasons why I have a headache again. Sorry, I'm listing the reasons why I am perpetually angry and why I actually started ThingsIWantoToPunch.Blogspot.Com

The truth of things is that I actually really support non-profits. The work done by many of these organizations and charities are fantastic. Non-profits provide services where the business sector and government fail to step in. Honestly, if you're looking for a way to feel good about yourself, I highly recommend volunteering for one.

Hahaha, you losers fell for that.

Non-profits are perpetually punched in the face. And the worst part is that they keep getting up for more.

Hey, on the upside, at least non-profits aren't douchebags like bankers.

I have a quick computer question for you...

I grew up using computers such as Speak and Spell and NES*. This gave me a fabulous vocabulary of the 100 most common words in the English language and the desire to jump on turtle shells multiple times to get an extra life. Naturally, I expect everyone to have this background.

Alas, this is not the case.

If you can do the following, then you have not pissed me off:

1) Catch a bat mid-flight. Because, you know, I'm not messing with any crazy cat.

2) Copy and paste

3) Resize an image properly. (On a related note, I'd like photoshop on computer, please. I've requested it for over a year now and I'm still manipulating things on MS Paint...)

4) Successfully adjust the margins on a section of a microsoft word document unless it's microsoft 2007. That piece of crap word processor can go suck Mr. Met's ball.

5) Know how to install a printer from a network

Guilty of those things? I hope a cat destroys you before I punch you in the ovaries.

I think the worst situation came one day when I was volunteered to help someone build a website. (In real life, I'm quite a push over, so I probably felt bad and decided to help out.) Rather than answer basic questions, I almost ended up having to explain how linking to another page works and how the internet works in general. After that wonderful teaching experience, I ended up writing to the actual web managers and politely told them if they didn't come into the office to help people with the website, I was going to punch them in the face.

*Speaking of NES and all things that are quality, I owe this shirt. It's bad ass. I realize some of you are thinking, "Hey! That's a hipster ironic t-shirt!" If you're thinking that, I think you should die.